How Can I be a Good Roommate? | 5 things to do (& 5 things to avoid!) | Ask Mama J | Adulting Tips to Help You Thrive in the Real World

Introduction

Moving out of your parents’ house and into your own place is a big step. It’s also a great opportunity to learn how to be a good roommate. If you’re a young adult just starting out in the “real world,” here are some tips on how to be a good roommate:

Ask Mama J

Hi Mama J,

I am getting ready to move out of my parents’ house, but I’m nervous about getting a roommate. If it’s like living with my brother, I’m doomed! How can I avoid being a bad roommate?
Erin S.

Dear Erin,

Thanks for reaching out! It can be very scary to move out of your family’s home and into a new environment. You’re used to your family and all of their quirks and isms, and that is your “normal.” But just because it’s your normal, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a typical or healthy environment.

Here are some surefire ways to make sure you’re being the best roommate you can be (and how to avoid being the worst roommate ever!):

5 Things You Should Do to be a Good Roommate

Be respectful of your roommate’s space.

This means keeping your stuff out of their way, not borrowing their things without asking, and knocking before you enter their room. Here are some surefire ways to ensure you’re respecting your roommate’s personal space!

Keeping your stuff out of their way means being mindful of where you put your belongings. Don’t leave your clothes, shoes, or other personal items strewn about the common areas. This can be a tripping hazard and it can also be annoying for your roommate if they have to constantly move your stuff around.
Not borrowing their things without asking is a basic rule of thumb for being a good roommate. If you need to borrow something from your roommate, always ask first. Don’t just take it without permission. This is especially important for things like electronics, kitchen appliances, or other shared items.
Knocking before you enter their room is a common courtesy that shows respect for your roommate’s privacy. Even if your roommate is your best friend, it’s always a good idea to knock before you enter their room. This gives them a chance to say if they’re not up for company or if they’re busy.

Be clean.

This means cleaning up after yourself in common areas, taking out the trash, and doing your fair share of the chores.

How can you be a mindful (instead of messy) roommate?

Cleaning up after yourself in common areas means taking care of your messes and not leaving them for your roommate to clean up. This includes things like:

Putting your dishes in the dishwasher or sink after you use them.
Taking out the trash when it’s full.
Sweeping or vacuuming the floor if you spill something.
Picking up your clothes and other belongings.

Taking out the trash is another important part of being a clean roommate. This means taking the trash out on a regular basis, not just when it’s overflowing. You should also make sure to properly dispose of any hazardous waste, such as batteries or cleaning products.

Doing your fair share of the chores is another important part of being a clean roommate. This means dividing up the chores evenly and taking responsibility for your assigned tasks. If you’re not sure what your chores are, ask your roommate or create a chore chart together.

Here are some other tips for being a clean roommate:

Mop the floors regularly.
Dust the furniture.
Wipe down the counters.
Clean the bathroom.
Take out the recycling.

By following these tips, you can help to keep your shared space clean and tidy. This will make your home more comfortable for you and your roommate, and it will also help to prevent the spread of germs.

Here are some additional tips for being a clean roommate:

Set a good example. If you see your roommate making a mess, offer to help them clean it up. This will show them that you’re serious about keeping the place clean.
Be proactive. Don’t wait for the mess to build up before you clean it up. Take a few minutes each day to tidy up the common areas.
Be flexible. If your roommate’s schedule changes, be willing to adjust your chores accordingly.
Be positive. Cleaning doesn’t have to be a chore. Make it fun by listening to music or talking to your roommate while you’re cleaning.

By following these tips, you can be a clean roommate and create a positive living environment for everyone.

Be considerate of your roommate’s noise levels.

This means keeping the noise down at night and during quiet hours, and being mindful of how loud you are when you’re watching TV or listening to music.

Being considerate of your roommate’s noise levels is important for creating a peaceful and harmonious living environment. This means being mindful of how loud you are, especially at night and during quiet hours.

Here are some tips for being considerate of your roommate’s noise levels:

Keep the noise down at night. This means turning down the volume on your TV or music, and avoiding loud activities, such as vacuuming or running the washing machine, late at night.
Be mindful of how loud you are when you’re talking on the phone. If you’re talking on the phone in a common area, try to keep your voice down so that you don’t disturb your roommate.
If you’re having a party, let your roommate know in advance. This will give them a chance to prepare for the noise and decide if they want to stay home or go out.
If you have noisy pets, be sure to take them outside during quiet hours. This will help to keep the noise down and prevent your roommate from being woken up by your pets.

Here are some additional tips for being considerate of your roommate’s noise levels:

Use headphones when you’re listening to music or watching TV. This will prevent the sound from traveling through the walls and disturbing your roommate.
Close the door to your room when you’re making noise. This will help to keep the noise from traveling into the common areas.
Be respectful of your roommate’s sleep schedule. If you know that your roommate has to get up early for work, try to be quiet in the morning.

By following these tips, you can be considerate of your roommate’s noise levels and create a peaceful living environment for everyone.

Here are some additional things to keep in mind when it comes to noise levels:

Everyone’s noise tolerance is different. What might be considered “quiet” to you could be too loud for your roommate. It’s important to be mindful of this and to adjust your behavior accordingly.
There are different quiet hours in different places. In some places, quiet hours are from 10pm to 7am. In other places, they might be from 11pm to 8am. It’s important to be aware of the quiet hours in your area and to respect them.
If you’re not sure what your roommate’s noise tolerance is, ask them. This is the best way to ensure that you’re both comfortable with the noise levels in your shared space.

Be communicative.

If you have a problem with your roommate, talk to them about it directly. Don’t let things fester and turn into a big conflict.

Communication is key to having a successful roommate relationship. If you have a problem with your roommate, it’s important to talk to them about it directly. Don’t let things fester and turn into a big conflict.

Here are some tips for communicating effectively with your roommate:

Be direct. Don’t beat around the bush. Just tell your roommate what the problem is.
Be specific. Don’t just say “you’re messy.” Tell your roommate specifically what they’re doing that’s bothering you.
Be respectful. Even if you’re angry, try to be respectful of your roommate. Remember, you’re still living together.
Be willing to compromise. It’s unlikely that you’re going to get everything you want. Be willing to compromise with your roommate so that you can both find a solution that works.
Be open to listening to your roommate’s perspective. They may have a different perspective on the problem than you do. Be open to hearing their side of things.

Here are some additional tips for communicating effectively with your roommate:

Choose the right time and place to talk. Don’t try to have a serious conversation when you’re both stressed or tired.
Be prepared to listen. Don’t just talk at your roommate. Take the time to listen to what they have to say.
Be willing to apologize. If you’re wrong, be willing to apologize to your roommate.
Be willing to forgive. If your roommate apologizes, be willing to forgive them.

By following these tips, you can communicate effectively with your roommate and resolve any problems that may arise.

Here are some additional things to keep in mind when communicating with your roommate:

Don’t wait until the problem is a big deal to talk about it. The sooner you address the problem, the easier it will be to resolve.
Don’t be accusatory. Instead of saying “you always do this,” try saying “I’m feeling frustrated when you do this.”
Focus on the problem, not the person. Don’t attack your roommate personally. Stick to the issue at hand.
Use “I” statements. This will help your roommate understand how your behavior is affecting you.
Be open to feedback. Your roommate may have some feedback for you as well. Be open to hearing it and making changes if necessary.

By following these tips, you can communicate effectively with your roommate and create a positive living environment for both of you.

Be willing to compromise.

No two roommates are exactly alike, so there will be times when you have to compromise. Be willing to meet your roommate halfway so that you can both live comfortably.

Compromise is essential for having a successful roommate relationship. No two roommates are exactly alike, so there will be times when you have different expectations or preferences. When this happens, it’s important to be willing to compromise so that you can both live comfortably.

Here are some tips for being willing to compromise with your roommate:

Remember that you’re both trying to make the best of a situation. You’re not trying to get one over on each other. You’re both trying to find a way to live together that works for both of you.
Be willing to meet your roommate halfway. This doesn’t mean that you have to give up everything you want. It just means that you’re willing to make some concessions in order to reach a mutually agreeable solution.
Be open to new ideas. Your roommate may have some ideas for compromise that you hadn’t thought of. Be open to hearing them and considering them.
Be willing to change your mind. If you’re not happy with the compromise that you’ve reached, be willing to talk about it again and try to come up with a new solution.
Focus on the common ground. What are the things that you and your roommate agree on? Start by focusing on those things and see if you can build a compromise around them.
Be creative. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box and come up with new and innovative solutions.
Be patient. It may take some time to find a compromise that works for both of you. Be patient and keep working at it.

Here are some additional things to keep in mind when compromising with your roommate:

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you’re stuck, don’t be afraid to ask a friend, family member, or therapist for help.
Remember that compromise is a two-way street. Both of you need to be willing to compromise in order for it to work.
Don’t give up. If you’re not able to reach a compromise right away, don’t give up. Keep trying and eventually you’ll find a solution that works for both of you.

By following these tips, you can be willing to compromise with your roommate and create a positive living environment for both of you.

5 Things You Should Avoid to be a Good Roommate

Don’t be a slob.

This means keeping your room clean, taking out the trash, and doing your fair share of the chores.

Don’t leave your clothes, dishes, or other belongings strewn about the common areas. This is a surefire way to annoy your roommate and make your living space look messy.
Don’t let the trash pile up. Take it out regularly, or make sure your roommate knows when it’s their turn to take it out.
Don’t avoid doing your fair share of the chores. This is a great way to start a fight with your roommate.
Don’t be inconsiderate of your roommate’s noise levels. If you’re going to be making a lot of noise, let them know in advance.
Don’t be disrespectful of your roommate’s belongings. Don’t borrow their things without asking, and don’t damage their property.

By following these tips, you can avoid being a slob and create a more harmonious living environment for yourself and your roommate.

Here are some additional things to keep in mind:

It’s okay to have some mess in your room, but don’t let it get out of control.
If you’re going to be gone for a few days, make sure to clean up before you leave.
If you have a pet, make sure to take care of it and clean up after it.
Don’t be afraid to ask your roommate for help if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

By following these tips, you can show your roommate that you’re considerate of their needs and that you’re willing to work together to keep the living space clean and tidy.

Don’t be noisy.

This means keeping the noise down at night and during quiet hours, and being mindful of how loud you are when you’re watching TV or listening to music.

Don’t play music or watch TV too loudly, especially late at night. This can be very disruptive to your roommate’s sleep, even if they’re in a different room.
Don’t talk on the phone loudly in common areas. This is especially important if your roommate is trying to study or work.
Don’t have loud parties or gatherings without letting your roommate know in advance. This is a surefire way to annoy them and make them feel uncomfortable in their own home.
Don’t use noisy appliances, such as the vacuum cleaner or the washing machine, late at night. If you need to use these appliances, try to do it during the day when your roommate is less likely to be disturbed.

By following these tips, you can avoid being noisy and create a more peaceful living environment for yourself and your roommate.

Here are some additional things to keep in mind:

If you’re not sure if your noise level is too high, ask your roommate. They’ll be able to tell you if they’re being disturbed by your noise.
Be mindful of the noise levels in your neighborhood. If you live in a quiet neighborhood, you’ll want to be especially careful not to make too much noise.
If you have a noisy pet, try to keep them quiet during the night and during quiet hours. You can do this by playing them calming music or giving them a chew toy to distract them.

By following these tips, you can show your roommate that you’re considerate of their needs and that you’re willing to work together to keep the living space peaceful.

Don’t be disrespectful.

This means not borrowing your roommate’s things without asking, not entering their room without knocking, and not being rude or inconsiderate.

Don’t borrow your roommate’s things without asking. This is a major no-no, and it’s a surefire way to annoy your roommate.
Don’t enter their room without knocking. This is their personal space, and you should respect their privacy.
Don’t be rude or inconsiderate. This means not being loud or obnoxious, and not taking advantage of their kindness.
Don’t make fun of their belongings or their interests. This is a great way to start a fight.
Don’t be passive-aggressive. If you have a problem with your roommate, talk to them directly.

By following these tips, you can avoid being disrespectful and create a more harmonious living environment for yourself and your roommate.

Here are some additional things to keep in mind:

If you need to borrow something from your roommate, ask them first. They’ll be more likely to let you borrow it if you ask nicely.
If you’re going to be in your roommate’s room, knock first and wait for them to say it’s okay to come in. This is especially important if they’re in the middle of something.
Be mindful of your roommate’s feelings. If you do something that you think might be disrespectful, ask them if it was okay.
Be willing to apologize if you make a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes, but it’s important to be able to apologize and move on.

By following these tips, you can show your roommate that you respect them and that you’re willing to work together to create a positive living environment.

Don’t be passive-aggressive.

If you have a problem with your roommate, talk to them about it directly. Don’t let things fester and turn into a big conflict.

Don’t make snide comments or sarcastic remarks. This is a passive-aggressive way of expressing your anger or frustration, and it’s not going to solve anything.
Don’t ignore your roommate or give them the silent treatment. This is a surefire way to make them feel angry and resentful.
Don’t do things to intentionally annoy your roommate, such as leaving your dishes in the sink or taking up all the common space. This is passive-aggressive behavior, and it’s not going to make your living situation any better.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you say you’re going to do something, make sure you actually do it. Otherwise, your roommate is going to start to think that you’re just blowing them off.

By following these tips, you can avoid being passive-aggressive and create a more communicative and respectful living environment for yourself and your roommate.

Here are some additional things to keep in mind:

If you have a problem with your roommate, talk to them about it directly. This is the best way to resolve the issue and avoid letting it fester.
Be specific about what’s bothering you. Don’t just say “you’re always doing this.” Instead, say something like “I feel frustrated when you leave your dishes in the sink.”
Be willing to listen to your roommate’s perspective. They may have a different perspective on the issue than you do.
Be willing to compromise. It’s unlikely that you’re going to get everything you want. Be willing to meet your roommate halfway so that you can both find a solution that works.

By following these tips, you can communicate effectively with your roommate and resolve any problems that may arise.

Don’t be a mooch.

This means not expecting your roommate to pay for everything, and not taking advantage of their kindness.

Don’t expect your roommate to pay for everything. If you can’t afford to pay for something, don’t ask your roommate to pay for it for you.
Don’t take advantage of your roommate’s kindness. If your roommate is always letting you borrow money or letting you use their things, be sure to pay them back or replace their things.
Don’t be a freeloader. If you’re not contributing to the household expenses, don’t expect your roommate to support you.
Don’t be a burden. If you’re always asking your roommate for favors, they’re going to start to feel like you’re a burden.

By following these tips, you can avoid being a mooch and create a more fair and equitable living environment for yourself and your roommate.

Here are some additional things to keep in mind:

Be willing to pitch in. If you’re living with someone, it’s important to be willing to pitch in and help out. This means paying your share of the rent and utilities, and also helping out with chores.
Be considerate of your roommate’s financial situation. If your roommate is struggling financially, don’t ask them to pay for things that you can afford yourself.
Be grateful for your roommate’s kindness. If your roommate is always helping you out, be sure to thank them and let them know how much you appreciate their help.

By following these tips, you can show your roommate that you’re not a mooch and that you’re willing to contribute to the household.

Conclusion

Being a good roommate takes effort, but it’s worth it. If you can be respectful, clean, considerate, and communicative, you’ll be well on your way to having a great roommate experience.

I hope this has been helpful and gives you some wisdom and insights moving forward as you embark on your new cohabitation journey. Did I leave anything out? What are your roommate dos and don’ts? Join the conversation on social media!

Best of luck to you on your new roommate journey!

Love,

Mama J

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How Can I be a Good Roommate? | 5 things to do (& 5 things to avoid!)